my sports blog

often accused as a johnny-come-lately, i have been the victim of much ridicule for becoming a soccer fan this summer. it's true, i hate sports. i have always hated sports. i find football to be tedious and slow. run a couple yards, fall down, talk about it for 13 minutes, repeat. it's not my thing.
baseball is even worse. kate, chris and i went to a clippers game this week in search of epic piles of cheap ass hot dogs to discover that mid-game people stop to PLAY CATCH in the outfield. we're like, "hurry this the fuck up". (granted, people dressed in hot dog costumes flying through the air and punching one another in their big plastic eyeballs is exceptionally entertaining)
but when i found out there was a sport in which people run at full tilt for 45 minutes, let you pound beer for 15 minutes, then return for another uninterrupted 45 minutes of running at full tilt, i got on board. i have the attention span of a 4 year old, so this seemed like a good fit for me.
additionally, soccer fans are nerds. there is no disputing this. they like ren-faire, dungeons and dragons, have tattoos and silly hair and they love to paint ridiculous and creative banners. needless to say, i relate to this bunch more than i relate to say...


these people.
chris and i will be traveling quite a bit this fall to see the crew for away games. i'd say it's as good a reason as any to see chicago, dc and toronto in the fall.

you know me, i'd be a part of any club that would have me as a member.

yeasayer

fuck. this was good. it was really good. any show that can capture my attention for more than four songs is doing a fucking stand up job.
pete, the music writer guy who is friends with kate, was standing next to us at the show. he said he just saw them at pitchfork and they changed his life. he said he had a moment of self-actualization during their show. lolz.
the sound is something super epic.
something like an 80's prom dream where you run out of the gym doors with a ripped pink dress and mascara running down your cheeks.
that's what it sounds like to me at least.
a bit duran duran meets paul simon's "graceland"
made my week.

loving this

"I saw my belly's electric red hair
toward my breasts, feathered bird,
And I laughed.
I saw humanity vomit in a shaky church basin
And I did not listen to my heart.
I saw a camel dressed and leaving for Mecca
Without the thousand and one sand vendors and the scaly
Of the black crowds.
But I could not go with them
Laziness had reduced the better part of my fervor
And routine had retrieved the dislocated
Dance of the big toe."
Joyce Mansour

peter pan syndrome

i just want to work at exactly the times i want to work! is that so much to ask!
maybe not.

each day here i get a little bit closer to freelance.
i really like the idea of being my own boss but i also see how that can entail quite a bit more work that this. taxes and health insurance being gigantic pains in the ass.
it is a little bit nice to not think about anything, drive to the same place at the same time everyday and have people tell you were you're going to go. not bad at all.
so i guess i will be making my third pros and cons list of the week. somehow they just manage to make me more frustrated. but i like lists.

it's summer again. and i have still managed to temporarily suspend every notion that i am an adult. somehow, every year at this time, i expect work to let out.
"see you guys in the fall. have an awesome summer! call me!"
i am still wondering why i am not running through the sprinkler right now. instead i am buttoned into a very scratchy, coco channel rip off staring at the glowing rectangle and answering stupid phone calls.
everyone with half a heart has peter pan syndrome.
it's just harder to deal with when it's this sweet outside.

Hindsight is 50/50.

Nostalgia is a pile of mud.
A chunk of something,
Shaped into nothing.
A useless emotion.
A silly notion,
To look back and think it will still be there.
You drive into the sunset and listen to the music swell.
It’s a lie and you know it.

Hindsight is 50/50.
Half true and half what you wanted to do.

You’re not going anywhere.
You think you’re going somewhere.
Your tires are stuck in the mud.
Watch the horizon.
You’re stuck in the mud.

If you can feel anything,
It’s because of something
You felt before.
There is nothing new.
The wheel rotates.
But the pattern is a predictable.
It is a circle.
Nothing ever changes.
You are not new
You are not new.

No inspiration will come.
If it was ever there,
It’s there now.
And if it never lived inside you
It never will
It never will.

dear maniac lifestyle

Once again white-knuckling the pendulum as it swings wildly to the other side. I guess it was inevitable that I go shake the willies out after being in virtual isolation for such a long time. I am having pendulum remorse this morning.
I woke up almost unable to breathe from the insane amount of cigarettes I have smoked in the last three weeks. Then I decided, masochist that I am, I would step on the scale, just to check in. Shitballs. Worst idea ever. I have pretty much eaten my weight in butter and pizza this week. I also haven’t run for pretty much the entire month of may. (which is more the fault of my bum foot, but still not much of an excuse.) I also muddled through this morning putting the milk in the makeup drawer and pouring coffee into not-a-mug. I haven’t slept. Not a good sleep. Not in a while. It’s starting to inhibit my ability to drive myself from A to B in a safe manner.

I need to find a sustainable lifestyle before I totally lose my shit. Don’t get me wrong, hanging out with friends and getting back into karaoke is most excellent fun. But I can’t see myself going in a good direction here. I used to look at Kate and wonder how the hell she does it. Rage, work, rage, work. But now I know how she does it. She comes home from work and goes directly to bed. That kind of sleep schedule is a sure fire way to give me a case of the depressos.

Also, summer is upon us now and I have every intention of behaving like a high school senior. I want to go swimming at night, attend bonfires in back yards, assume no responsibility whatsoever and gossip about other people’s boyfriends. Now that I’m 27, all I want to do is act like I’m 17 again. I refuse to get old.

dangerous cocktail

hello blog.
i kind of hate you.
i want to tell you my feelings but you just come back to bite me in the ass.
that's why all the neglect.

well, with that out of my system, i had a miraculously good saturday. got up at 6:45. went to running club in dublin for the first time ever. I would say about 40 people showed up. A bit uncomfortable at first, but they warmed up. It was 25 degrees at 8:00. I realized later that the hour and the cold weather were the culprits in the cloud of silence and cruel glares that preceded the run.
I ran with a woman who looked about my age named Trish. She has two children and lives in dublin. She wanted to talk about the price hikes in country club fees. Needless to say, we had a hard time relating. I redirected her attention to the run and things got better. She definitely pushed me to make it all 10 miles. (and at a respectable pace)
i thought i might lay down in a dublin soccer field and die right around 8.5 miles, but i finished. Praise allah.
afterwards, everyone puts their cute post-race flips flops and hoodies on and sits on the floor of columbus running company with mugs of coffee and talks about running.
wow. people really do this. creepily, it has a bit of the same vibe as a christian sunday night youth group. thankfully, sans dogma and doctrine. so i will continue to go.
i met a lot of cute girls in my age group who wanted to talk my face off about running, triathlons and marriage. righteously awesome.
to be noted: finished a 10 mile course, drinking black coffee and talking to people you feel like you might really get along with is a dangerous and delightful cocktail.
i was delirious.
after realizing i had chugged 3 cups of coffee and talked for over an hour, i bolted out to drive down to athens to visit my favorite graduated student.
glorious day. sunny, all the trees were blossoming.
evie and i spent the majority of the afternoon cooking our faces on the back porch and walking around "town".
we had sammies, took a rest and went out for more food.
casa is, by far, my favorite restaurant right now. most delicious. we ordered vacation drinks and laughed at my half-face sunburn. I had temporarily forgotten how delicious it is to talk to a friend for twelve hours straight.
remarkably good.

also, we saw saturn's rings through a giant telescope on campus. pretty sure it was some sort of astronomy class.
crazy good day.