Gonna need to get out of here soon. Just had my one year review last week. It was the kind of day that makes you wonder why you don't always say exactly what you're thinking to everyone, even the people who terrify you. I know, it's not an everyday possibility. But, boy is it good to say all the things you have been stewing with for seven months.
The result of which dramatic and surprising. Dramatic? no, Dickensian! Like taking Scrooge back in time to Fezziwig's party to witness the apathy of his past.
I read back a transcript of a conversation I had with my boss in September: It involved a conversation in which i told her i was stressed, but had no intention of jumping ship. She had said, "Maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing if you jumped ship."
She covered her face. I didn't mean to make her cry.
"I must have been in a very dark place to have said that to you."
Wut? It wasn't the reaction I had expected. In the end, I ended up consoling her. Honestly, I had gone in with a "burn the mother down" kind of attitude. Feeling that I had some other job possibilities lined up, I thought I had nothing to lose.
This experience has charged in me a dangerous desire to continue to live on the edge of radical honesty.
But, I know better. It doesn't work on everybody.
My sister would be more likely to punch me than experience the Dickensian catharsis that happened with bossypants. I've been holding a lot in about that situation. I know she doesn't really use the internet other than research for work, so I can guarantee she's not reading this. And as much as I'd like to tempt fate and tell her all the things I've been thinking, I think I'll save all this truthiness for people I barely know.
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